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• "This book is a gift. It reconstructs the realities of death and grief in such a way that we are lifted up. With conceptual sophistication, clarity of voice, and an ear for good stories, the authors teach us about the importance of narrative in keeping those who have passed on alive and well in our daily lives. An inspiring work."

  Ken Gergen, Ph.D.
  Author, An Invitation to Social Construction

• "Compassionate and conceptually sophisticated, Re-membering Lives transcends the constraints of traditional grief theories with their emphasis on 'letting go', offering instead conversational practices for "holding on" to those we have loved and lost. I recommend this book highly both to the bereaved and to those professionals who wish to assist them in cultivating continued connection to the sustaining relationships that give life its meaning.

  "Animated by a narrative emphasis on the storied nature of human life, Hedtke and Winslade open new vistas for continuing the life stories of those we love beyond their deaths. This practical and compassionate volume has a place on the shelf of every counselor and therapist who wants to help the dying and bereaved affirm their continuing bonds in the face of life's ultimate transitions. By clearly articulating the healing power of remembering practices, and anchoring their recommendations in evocative case vignettes, Hedtke and Winslade provide a new perspective on the challenges and possibilities of bereavement that is both revolutionary and readable. This book draws inspiration from the narrative and meaning-making approaches that are transforming the filed of grief therapy, while at the same time sharpening its practical implications.

  "Compact and compassionate, this book will help both the bereaved and the secular or spiritual counselors they consult affirm sustaining attachments even in the face of death. The conversational practices offered by these authors extend the life legacies of those we have loved and lost, and have a place in the work of every grief therapist."

  Robert A. Neimeyer, Ph.D.
  Editor, Death Studies; Author, Meaning Reconstruction and Experience of Loss

Grief is frequently thought of as an ordeal we must simply survive. This book offers a fresh approach to the negotiation of death and grief. It is founded in principles of constructive conversation that focus on "remembering" lives, in contrast to processes of forgetting or dismembering those who have died. Re-membering is about a comforting, life enhancing, and sustaining approach to death that does not dwell on the pain of loss and is much more than wistful reminiscing. It is about the deliberate construction of stories that continue to include the dead in the membership of our lives. The book specifically rejects common assumptions about the need to seek closure, complete unfinished business, work through stages, or say final goodbyes. Re-membering also rejects the idea that relationships end when biological life ends. Lorraine Hedtke and John Winslade offer this innovative approach by weaving inspiring stories with accessible practices that can be used by professionals and others to ease the transitions that death brings. The book demonstrates and illustrates the practical implications of recent and radically divergent thinking in the field of death and grief. It is a book that has the potential to startle and at the same time to bring fresh hope and comfort to many who walk in the valley of the shadow of death.

Lorraine Hedtke MSW, ACSW, LCSW - specializes in working with people who are dying and families after a loved one has died. She is employed by VITAS Innovative Hospice Care as a Bereavement Services Manager for the Inland Empire in California. She regularly teaches nationally and internationally about death, dying and bereavement and narrative therapy. Her articles have appeared in numerous professional and trade publications and newspapers. Lorraine was a national panelist for the Hospice Foundation of America’s 14^th Annual Teleconference: “Living with Grief: Before and After Death”. She is the author, along with John Winslade, of the book, Re-membering Lives: Conversations with the dying and the bereaved (Baywood Publishing, 2004). Her recent children's’ book, My grandmother is always with me, is co-authored with her daughter, Addison.  

John Winslade, PhD - is a Professor and Coordinator of Educational Counseling Programs at California State University San Bernardino. He was previously Director of Counselor Education at the University of Waikato in New Zealand. He has a particular interest in how narrative and social constructionist ideas can enhance the resourcefulness of people and of communities. In addition to "Re-membering Lives", Dr. Winslade is the co-author and author of several other books on narrative therapy and narrative mediation, as well as many articles and book chapters. He conducts numerous workshops and made conference presentations on narrative practice in the USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Cyprus, Israel, the UK, and Europe.